sometimes in life....

well been really long since i wrote on this online epilog of m life...well since we all know that handwritten diaries are been read all the time..this seems to be the perfect pplace to pour out whats on your mnd...
first things first....i gt this horrible exam comiing over on thursday...samn i hae paid 2thousand for it n now i have to god damn clear it....n to to up m misery the pasiing is not 40 or 50 its 70% ......... i get cold feet just listeningto that number.....
hmm well have to doo some real time management now.....
its starnage sometimes your froends act so woered i mean then you try everything n you gt no where to go dont know what to do......should you give up cuz probably if they really take u as their friend they will get over whatever has happened in a days or ax a few months....or shud you go down on your knees everytime n hopw that this time atleast they will think of you in a different way........sigh....i really need a solution to that.......
well many more things but hey i am not a crib.....i think i have a really good life....
today we had a hiv+ve campaign in college ...we dealt with kid bout 4 to 12 years of age...it feels sooo good today.....you can not make out if these kids r affected or not...at the end of the day though when you reflect on what you did the whole day...it kinda depreses you that some or many of these will not be able to fulfill all their dreams that they have for their future......
i hope they live as long as we do.....cuz they deserve it..the spirit with which they live their life.....unbelievable.....
neways god bless them.....

messy......

standing all alone in the middle of nowhere....dont know which place to go.......

life is such a mess sometimes....they say i need to put m emotions aside n work on it.....maybe they r rite.....lets see what happenes furthur....

if tomorrow never comes...

thats one of teh lines of the song i love...

what the song has to say is surely worth a thought.......
you have a fight with some one you love..ego n pride ride strong...both have their stands to take n too much has affected them to be stable again....not so soon atleast...both have a common thought though that there is always that tomorrow...the day for reconcilliation after all the initial drama has settled down.....
but,wait a minute.....what if....the much awaited tomorrow doesnt exist doesnt come at all...its not a impossible happening all of us know that yet we chose to ignore...its strange given a thought that if we knew today was the last day we had we would have been all over the place writting love notes to everyone we ever met...n forgiving people we thought we could never forgive..but when its unseen so many things remain.....unfinished.....
imagine you love someone a lot and somehome never got the chance to sat sorry...can you live with the guilt for the rest of your life??can u live at all???,that would sound more appropriate.....
there is this great dialogue in a movie i love "foresst gump".......i may not be smart but i know what love is....it says it all...when you are in love i think you have to go beyond just what your mind can comprehend....its not about roses n butterflies always...there wil be compromises to be made...thnigs to be understood without words.....sadly most of us are so busy just comprehending the visible signs that we forget how important this thing is to our lives....you know whats the most beautiful thing about being in love is that you can be just yourself...say whatever you want n still eb confdent that though not immediately you will be understod n loved inspite of nething...

but sadly mosty of us are just too busy waiting for that one tomorrow to make things ok for us...and sometimes waiting fo rit we losty the most important thing of all...the today....the chance that we have now i guess just gets lost smewhere between.."m too sad to say nething" ...and "thers always a tomorrow"...

but for all we know ther might not be a tomorrow.....
"so tell some one that you love just what you're thinking now..if tomorrow never comes!!"

still missing

the sweet pain of seperation slowly begins to sink in as the night draws closer...the moon n stars seem to be taunting me pushing me over the edge of memories....

lonliness seems to cut in deep...the words of "moments converted to eternity" now seem to hold ground n that too pretty strong....the only sloace i could find is i know wil be in hearin a voice that still seems to eco deep within m heart....still time to get that lucky, i knw...

got to hold on.....
never knew i could be missing you so much!!!

missing someone...

i read it somewhere ...."somemtimes you miss someone so much that you feel like picking them out of your thouhght s n hugging them"....yeah somehow it makes sense now.....
i never knew this side of m own personality...i always thought that no matter what, i can always make it alone...i was so prepared for that...make through everything....things i need to know i shall lear...kinda like that song you know..."i used to think,i had the answers to everything...but nbow i know life doesnt always go m way"......
never knew when i made a transition from being i care a damn bout what u do to ....hey dont do that it mite hurt you n i care.....
guess somepeople do have that something within them that changes a lot of things around you....
the way you think...talk .....smile ....love ..... n the most important of all LIVE.....
i always thought missing someone was one over exagerated emotion....but now i know..its just painfull.....
but then again..may be its just a part of growing up....maybe someone upthere wanted us to know what it is to be loneley.....
n everyone should atleast onece miss someone dearly to know how it feels...that i guess gives u a fuller experiece on life...
to love someone so dearly n miss them...
to sit in front of the tv n wonder whhen they r goin to be back.....
to run to get that phone ringing...expecting that just may be its a call from them when you know at the back of your mind...that not possible!!!
goin through your daily chroes n missing them when you look at those small things n the laugh you had...
well.....but after all missing someoen is just beautifull when the other person returns n you come to know that you have been missed the exact same way...
yeah thats some life not everyone is lucky enough to have....
well this is to m most dearest friend who i will miss like hell....
not a day goes bye when i dont share m day with imm....n suddenly there is goin to be lot of silenece i know not for many days but .......
welll....i guess i just have to give a smiling good bye n a pray for a quick n safe return.....

flying without wings...

funny dark and non stop..yes thats life to me.living on the edge....your dreams or expectations,attempt or experience no one knows what wins. The only goal -success. where we start,where is it that we want to go. no one knows..everyone is running around to find an answer..answer to what?sometimes i question do we really live our lives or does someone else live it for us??
learn from your mistakes.don't be afraid totake chances.some of the lessons have to e learn the hard way.not everything comes easy.you have to struggle,work hard. over come your obstacles and most of all believe in your self when the battle is for you to fight alone.

Dreams keep me alive.i don't know how many of them i will fulfill but one thing is for sure
"I WILL FIGHT FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM"

what is not mine i would never get nwhat belongs to me no power can take it away....

life goes on....
with me or without me......

m'first

hey this is m first blog entry ......
sucessfull at last after tryin out bout a dozen user names...looking forward to see how this works...